It's Been Awhile...
Sorry for those of you who have been visiting - I haven't updated in at least a month. I'm going through a transition that is difficult to describe. Here is basically what is going on:
I began reading Franz Bardon's book on beginning Magick... I'm interested in getting through it so I can move into the second book on summoning spirits.
Now, remembering back to the most profound mystical experience I have had, I am beginning to fall back into the thinking of solipsism... Before I lose you, let me state that I still believe that the one consciousness is within each and every part of this creation, and that you and I and everyone have a consciousness, albeit they all are ultimately just the one... However I have the distinct nagging feeling that by approaching life with a solipsist approach, I will be able to make the most progress at this point in time.
What is solipsism? Basically, it is that my consciousness I am sure of, but everything else I ultimately can not prove. Therefore I can't put faith in it. I can't prove outer reality, I can't prove that anyone else is really conscious. In effect, I begin to feel that the world is only a projection of my own consciousness, which I also believe is essentially true. However, taking the approach that everyone I see is an actor, and every item is a prop and every event or place is a stage, I can actually begin to feel this, and I begin to perceive personal messages coming from the universe via these various actors and scenes. Manifestation appears to happen faster.
From this solipsist viewpoint, I've temporarily thrown Bardon's work aside, as I'm beginning to feel that I lend my power to the outside world in order for it to function apparently separately from me. By putting stock in elements, elementals, angels, tools, etc, I am essentially distributing my own energy and power to these projections so that they may appear to me to have a life of their own. Instead, I am attempting to pull this energy back into myself.
I have been taking nightly bathing meditations, sitting in swimming-pool-temperature water, and quieting my mind of thought. When the words fade and I enter the Now moment more firmly, I feel a presence of mind, or my higher spirit, or whatever you want to call it, very strongly. It is difficult to talk after these experiences, as silence becomes so comfortable that words feel like a drop in consciousness (as anyone who's been here can attest).
I have attempted some telekinesis in this state, and had interesting results. I have attempted to knock things over, rearrange things, etc... And the things I put the most energy into doing, occurred, although not instantly. I would notice the next day that when I entered the room those things would be in the state I had attempted to put them in using my mind the night before. Maybe someone in the house would knock over what I was attempting before to knock over, etc. These manifestations show me that what I am willing is happening, but is still having to utilize the other actors and props in my little physical-reality show to do so. But I'm close!
With this kind of interesting development going on, I haven't really known what to write here. After these events, I am usually silent until going to bed. The next day, I'm dunked head first back into my daily waking life... So I decided to drop in today and leave this post so you know I'm still around. Just doing... something...
